The Opening Of Doors…

OpeningOfDoors
As many of you are aware, I took a year off from active involvement in the Vampire Community to focus on personal and professional development, to curb operating costs, and because I was satisfied that I had accomplished the goals of fostering academic and institutional research coupled with tempered public education about the Vampire Community. In other words, I ‘retired’. This sounded like a perfectly reasonable explanation and one that would not be met with skepticism.

Unfortunately this was not entirely accurate… you see I traveled to Moscow in June 2016 ahead of the U.S. election to meet with ***** of the Russian Vampire Community where we discussed and laid the framework… oops wrong audience!

My level of hyper-involvement in this community both visible and unseen gave rise to a profoundly isolating existence. I found myself staring past the rich diversity of participants and collectives and into the depths of the dark underbelly of this subculture. I received death threats, was physically stalked, felt as though I had to look over my shoulder at dinners, asked to consult with attorneys and law enforcement on cases directly and tangentially connected to self-identified vampires and other subcultures, ironically was on the receiving end of targeted hacking attempts, instructed to mind my own business about the affairs of others if I wished to avoid unpleasant consequences, contacted on a weekly basis by the psychologically unhinged who thrived on wallowing in despair and destructive behavior, witnessed numerous persons in positions of influence advocating dangerous viewpoints, pressured by journalists for intimate (and in some cases completely disingenuous) interviews while trying to accurately represent more voices than just my own, and locked in a perpetual state of hyper-vigilance at safeguarding my privacy by censoring my activities and words online and offline. I become intensely conflicted and reached an impasse of what I felt comfortable sharing with even my closest confidants. Nothing about me signaled for others to think;

“Oh I should speak with Merticus, he’s such an approachable and friendly fellow – so warm and fuzzy he is.”

At some point in late 2016 I awoke, had my morning cup of single-origin coffee, and said screw this bullshit. I could either fully deploy my passive aggressive personality and subversive set of skills to tear down certain ‘illusions’ brick-by-brick or simply leave on my terms and reorder my priorities. With this particular community I chose the latter.

As many of you have recently noticed, I’m lurking back around the Vampire Community. I’m not here this time around to implement grand-scale research projects, grant interviews to every journalist who comes knocking, post monthly news recaps, invest countless and precious hours trying to wrangle a bunch of misbehaving bats, or discuss what ‘vampirism’ means ad nauseam. I’m not here to solidify power structures or engage in vampire politics with novices. I’m not here to declare myself ‘Lord Merticus’, demand loyalty, and build a secret harem of followers – that would so be ’99 of me. I’m not here to stand in the way of progress by the younger generation or to scoff at the notion of unity or designs for grand apotheosis. I’m not here to be vindictive against those I know have stood against, spread false rumors, plagiarized, or otherwise been power-obsessed assholes towards me – we can start anew if you’re brave enough to take that step. I’m not here to rail against your narcissism, elitism, or dishonor your traditions – we’re vampires and it comes with the territory. I’m not here find myself, seek enlightenment, make apologies, or enable your fantasies.

I’m simply here to revel in the embrace of friends, bring people together to break bread and focus on what’s important in life, to advocate personal refinement that’s not dependent on one’s identity as a lifestyler, sanguinarian, med-sang, psychic, tantric, magickal, donor, otherkin et al. because you’re all the same to me, to encourage tolerance and not shy away from calling out hypocrisy, and most importantly to have more fun than should be allowed. Our society is changing and so are our established communities – not everyone will be able to come to terms with this and their resistance will only magnify their bitterness. Now’s the time to bring close to you those who matter and who share your vision. You can either join me or ignore me; but know if you intentionally peddle your drama in my direction or attempt to throw shade on the warmth of my happiness you will be met with unpleasant consequences.

I’m back my fellow vampires and misfits – time to begin again!

MERTICUS
Atlanta, GA USA
Facebook MerticusX | Twitter @MerticusX | LinkedIn Merticus

Voices of the Vampire Community (VVC) | 2006 To Present
Vampire Community News (VCN) | 2008 To Present
Vampire Community Discussions (VCD) | 2016 To Present
Atlanta Vampire Alliance [AVA] | 2005 To Present
Atlanta Vampire & Goth Meetup Group (AVG) | 2002 To Present
Georgia Vampire Community (GVC) | 2013 To Present
Suscitatio Enterprises, LLC | 2005 To 2017
Undisclosed | 2000 To Present
Undisclosed | 1996 To 2005
Undisclosed | 1994 To 2000
Undisclosed | 1993 To Present

1 April 2018
PS: This isn’t an April Fools’ Day joke.

Pitfalls, Mousetraps & Elders Of The Vampire Community

VictorMousetrapLately I’ve been asked ad nauseam for an opinion on the following topic so here you go…

The Vampire Community is a convoluted ball of hypocrisy that has devolved in many areas into a form of perverse entertainment — many playing their own angles to nurture disruptive goals and longstanding vendettas.  Any truth to be found is measured in shades of gray and who can convince what mercurial faction or personal friends to side with them while everyone involved conveniently ignore facts to support their own version of reality.  If one delves too deeply into the outcries of dissatisfaction they may find themselves lost in the minutia, manipulated like pawns and trapped by madness.

After more than a generation of existence we should consider the inescapable reality that we are a fractious, stubbornly independent and often egotistical lot who have embraced the label of ‘vampi(y)re’ as an extension of our personal identity.  If you are not happy within your own personal life you do not need to look solely towards the Vampire Community as the beacon of hope, means of an escape or a friend group who will be there to encourage your development.  We do not hold the master key that one needs to be successful — that begins with finding the inner strength to develop your own voice and take control of your life.

Before contemplating accomplishing anything of significance on a large scale we need to first work towards understanding why many have stepped into the shadows decrying ‘elders’ and ‘cookie-cutter groupthink’, establish defined goals that are realistic to achieve and make a good faith effort to educate the uninformed as to how the Vampire Community has developed during the last few decades.  This includes examining similar projects which either failed or faded from our chronically short-term memories.  Setting aside for a moment the notion of serving as an elder, council member, ambassador, representative of an embassy, et. al. one should ask themselves what have they individually done – not just talked about doing – to improve problems they have identified within their local or greater community.

Back channel lines of communication between groups and individuals already exist.  Choosing to use them and engage with others you either do not personally care for or trust is the true crux of the issue that needs to be remedied.  Mutual cooperation among all vampires, groups and organizations along with other grandiose ideas would do well to take a back seat to focusing on personal growth, education, research into our own identity and learning to initially support one another as individuals rather than as a collective horde bound by artificial hierarchies.

I would like to remind everyone that perhaps the greatest source of confusion when attempting to conceptualize or define what it means to be a ‘real vampi(y)re’ stems from a confluence of various diverse movements within the Vampire Community (or the overall subculture alongside mythos, folklore, philosophical adaptations from spiritual, cultural and fundamentally disparate groups) approaching the subject at differing points in time, direction and originating influence(s).  One’s self-identity with the loosely defined concept, condition, state of being, et. al. of ‘vampirism’ is entirely dependent on the individual and no more or less valid than the next person.

To frame this another way…

  • Some vampi(y)res have medical and/or mental conditions which they’ve yet to find a satisfactory answer for.
  • Some vampi(y)res have medical and/or mental conditions which they’re in denial over.
  • Some vampi(y)res incorporate magickal or ritual practices with a spiritual blend of ‘vampirism’.
  • Some vampi(y)res are left-hand path leaning ‘vampire’ spiritualists or esotericists.
  • Some vampi(y)res don’t believe ‘vampirism’ has anything to do with religion and/or spirituality.
  • Some vampi(y)res believe their soul is inhabited and/or are fallen angelic or demonic ‘vampires’.
  • Some vampi(y)res believe ‘vampirism’ to be an evolutionary advancement in certain humans.
  • Some vampi(y)res believe ‘vampirism’ is caused by a virus because they read certain websites.
  • Some vampi(y)res simply enjoy the ‘lifestyle’, wearing fangs, and dangling an ankh around their neck.
  • Some vampi(y)res really wish they could emulate fictional (perhaps even folkloric) ‘vampires’.
  • Some vampi(y)res felt a void in their life and have ‘attempted’ to fill it with ‘vampirism’ and the O/VC.
  • Some vampi(y)res have no clue who or what they are and don’t care either way – ‘vampire’ sounded good.
  • Some vampi(y)res have no desire to define their own identity because they never learned to think for themselves.
  • Some vampi(y)res are still searching for their own answers (physiological, medical, spiritual, or otherwise).
  • Some vampi(y)res are completely deluding themselves (regardless of whether ‘vampirism’ exists or not).
  • Some vampi(y)res really wish they could close their eyes and wake up somewhere else.
  • Some vampi(y)res won’t be here this time next year because they will no longer identify with ‘vampirism’.
  • Some vampi(y)res are just bat @&*# crazy.
  • Some vampi(y)res think ‘vampirism’ is a combination of ‘everything’ because they think this is an appealing idea.
  • Some vampi(y)res will think I didn’t cover some element of their own personal experience in any of the above.
  • Some vampi(y)res will be correct in this thinking.

I am personally indifferent to anyone and everyone who either ‘trusts/doesn’t trust’, ‘likes/doesn’t like’, ‘respects/doesn’t respect’, or ‘considers me an elder/doesn’t consider me an elder’ in the context of their professional interactions with me through the Vampire Community.  Furthermore, how long one has been participating in the community is completely irrelevant to any personal opinion or measure of respect I may hold when weighed against the merits of one’s contributions or actions.  I am far from perfect and will not pretend to hold anyone to a standard that would require or encourage that they ‘bow’ or ‘kiss a ring on my hand’.

While I personally consider the application of such doctrine disingenuous to the practical expectations of our, or any contemporary, ‘society’ I have not, and will not, intentionally dishonor those who believe in such formality or respect given by them to any existing elected or title bestowed vampi(y)re.  I embrace the individually and rich history of our community and thereby the right of free-thinking adults to form whatever institutions, guiding precepts, rituals or beliefs they wish to follow.  With this comes an acknowledgment of those who came before me, those who have come after me, and an objective evaluation of what ideas formed the basis of various segments of the community and which of these ideas can still be improved upon today.

In keeping with this view, I do not feel it is within my right nor ethically responsible to compile any list of individuals I would deem as ‘elder(s)’ and place this information in a publicly accessible group, forum, website or resource for newcomers and interested parties to reference.  It is my belief that the attempted creation of any singular authoritative ‘elder listing’ would never obtain universal or even widespread acceptance without the presumption of personal biases and individual allegiances.  I believe that opinions regarding the suitability of individuals to mentor and teach others rest in the hands of the seeker to discern; and that we as a community should provide the necessary tools for them to be able to independently make this evaluation through the lens of safety and abuse awareness.  I will continue to focus my efforts on the compilation of resources, strengthening communication infrastructure and placing those who seek answers in touch with responsible individuals from their local areas who are willing to lend a hand.

Attitudes of entitlement, deep-seated mistrust, intentional deceptions or duplicity, wanton ignorance and purposefully baiting others to engage in negative rhetoric are not improving any of our lives or friendships.  Such behavior is simply narcissistic and predatory vampires using their fellow vampires as prey.  Rather than investing energy into destabilizing the efforts of other individuals and groups, those who are sincere in their claims of wanting to help should use their talents and time towards assisting those who are in the most need of direction and support.

I do not believe the majority of problems some perceive as prevalent within the Vampire Community derive from a present lack of organization, communication or information availability.  No matter how all-encompassing or elegant a system that is designed, it is only as effective as the people involved and their willingness to continually invest time, effort and monies despite any setbacks they may encounter.  Any system, council or organization’s ability to garner participants is only as effective as the level of respect afforded to its creators and in turn that respect offered unconditionally back to the members themselves.

Pitfalls, Mousetraps & Elders Of The Vampire Community
By Merticus – January 15, 2014